Humans naturally endure hurt and pain, but recovering from those experiences with happiness can be particularly difficult.
A shattered relationship, a friend’s betrayal, or a significant disappointment can all leave behind profound emotional scars that are challenging to repair.
Even in the face of hardship, there are things you can do to promote pleasure and well-being.
Even after suffering excruciating pain, you can find happiness and fulfilment in your life by strongly emphasizing taking care of yourself, fostering healthy relationships, and finding a purpose.
Happiness Tips For People Who Have Been Hurt: To Move Forward
This is the starting point that will help you start your venture towards a happier life after an abusive or somewhat hard past. You must understand the reason why you were hurt.
It may be an abusive relationship that you were a part of but could never really express or acknowledge your pain because staying still felt safer.
Maybe you expected a lot from someone, but they just backstabbed you in return, and you had nowhere to go. Understanding the reason will let you dive into the roots.
Feel that pain
Yes, this point might seem negative, but the thing is just like any other emotion; sadness also needs to be felt. You have to go through pain to realize how it feels to overcome it.
When you go through a tough phase or a point in your life wherein you have been abused or hurt, you must let yourself feel the pain and sadness that comes along with the abuse. Avoid having a fake smile on your face and trying to suppress that pain.
Express the pain
Right after you have felt the pain and understood the reason, the root cause behind it, you need to express it.
Many times, expressing gets very difficult. You may not be able to communicate what you feel, and the other person, even if you do communicate, may not value your pain and respond in a way you want them to.
In that case, write everything down on a piece of paper or in a journal, burn it, and get it out somehow.
Stay optimistic in every situation.
Always remember that no matter how hard a situation gets or how tough a phase you have to go through in life, never let pessimism get the better of you. There should always be room for optimism in your life.
Yes, you may have been hurt or abused badly, which has left a permanent imprint in your life, but that thing should not pull you back and stop you from being who you are.
You must always chase your dreams and ambitions and show others that no pain can hinder your path.
Devote more time to the things you love
When you have come across such a terrible phase in your life wherein you have been hurt or have been a part of something very disturbing which has had a grave impact on your life, you should try every way to deviate from those thoughts from arising again.
You can devote your time to hobbies, or do the things you enjoy, more often. By keeping yourself busy and your mind focused on something else, you can avoid such thoughts from arising again.
Avoid the things which seem an additional burden.
Just like the things you love, there may be things which you don’t like, or it’s better to say you hate. Avoid being a part of those things or doing such things.
For example, if you don’t like visiting a particular relative’s house, but you are always forced to do so by your parents, you should talk with them about why you don’t like visiting their house, and why they should not force you every time. Avoid doing things that seem like an extra burden to you.
Try living in the present moment.
There is no point in being stuck in the past, you need to move on from there someday or the other, so why not now? Reliving the past can be addictive.
When you go through what had happened, you will keep on doing that for many more times to come, and every time you will think about what you could have done differently, but can you change it now?
Sticking in the past will just be another huge emotional and mental burden on you, so live in the present instead.
Avoid rehearsing the story over and over again.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is that they keep on telling the same story to everyone they come across.
Probably they feel that the one listening to their story will understand and console them and also tell them that it was not their fault and they don’t deserve to be hurt this way.
The only thing that happens is that they are unable to move on from their past. They are stuck over there because every time they narrate their story to someone else.
Stop playing the victim card.
It may be the case that you were the victim of something terrible someone had done to you. Maybe you were not at fault, but you fell into a certain unfortunate set of circumstances. Still, it does not serve you to sit and just go on blaming others.
It will do you no good, nor will it bring you mental peace and sanity. You can’t feel good when something like this goes on in your mind, and it only holds you back from moving on in your life.
Don’t allow the pain you’re going through to become your identity
When everything that you are doing, or your relationships, center around a particular pain from the past, it is going to be very difficult for you to move on in your life. Not only that, all your present relationships, and whatever you do for a living, will get destroyed.
You can have a sad past but don’t allow your present to evolve around it. Don’t let this pain and unhappiness be your trademark and how people identify you.
Value your feelings and emotions more
Many of you are very down-to-earth kind of people who like to understand everyone’s feelings around them and help them when they feel down. What you people don’t realize is that it is equally important, if not more, to value your feelings as well.
Some of you get so carried away in trying to understand and help others that you rarely remember to take care of your emotions and value what you need. Start being there a little bit more for yourself; it is not being selfish.
Practice saying no more often
Once again, some of you people are so caring and selfless that you forget you have a life too. Every time somebody approaches you saying they need help, you are always there, prepared to help them out.
What you don’t realize is that you need to have time for yourself and your daily tasks, not every time can you help others which becomes an additional burden on your mind, and in this pressurized situation, you can never be happy and contented with your life.
Stop giving n number of chances to everyone.
You surely know the person who had hurt you, no matter once or more than once. But you are so selfless and humble that you listen to them once again and are ready to help them. Stop it right away.
The more the number of chances you give others, the more they take advantage of your humbleness and the more they hurt you.
They know that whatever they do to you, you are there for them. Some people never change. Identify them and cut them off as fast as possible.
It’s high time you forgive yourself.
Maybe you did nothing wrong in a certain situation, but you still go on blaming yourself for what happened back then. Maybe there was a role you had played in creating your present situation.
Regardless of anything that happened or did not happen, you must understand that you are not what you did. You are a human being who makes mistakes like everyone else.
You must start afresh again, forgetting all those past incidences, and to be able to do that; you must forgive yourself.
Recall who you could have been if you were not hurt
It is not easy to get rid of a pain identity, even harder if you have been carrying it for a long time. What you must do is recall who you could have been if such a thing, which caused you pain, had never happened, or even if it did, who you were before that.
It is never too late to become that person again, who does not get angry or bitter very easily and frequently. Start by remembering who and how you were back in the days.
Quit judging yourself
There are already a lot of people who judge you, even if you don’t realize they do. They will judge you for your past, for your present, what you do, what you were, everything you can think of.
You should stop judging yourself. You are the best person to know your past, what made you who you are today. You are not what you did back then, and this is very important if you are to move on from your past.
Imagine the things that bring you joy.
Keep all those matters, which bring you pain, aside for a moment and concentrate on doing or imagining something which would bring you joy and excitement. It may be anything.
Do you feel that going swimming will make you happy now? Or do you feel that calling your mother will bring you joy? It can be anything, but the main intention is to imagine or do something which will bring you joy and help you forget your pain for a while.
Help others out but keep it within a certain limit
In one of the points, it was discussed that how you should not be available to everyone all the time and practice saying no more often, but at times you should help out others in need.
Not only will it keep you busy, but it will also allow you to put a smile on someone else’s face, which will also bring you joy.
While helping, you can learn something new, and most importantly, it will keep your mind away from those painful thoughts.
Interact with your kind of people
It’s very important to socialize and interact with others when you are trying to start afresh and forget all your past pains and traumas. It is even better when you interact with people who have similar tastes and opinions as you have.
These kinds of people will understand you better and will be a healthy fit for your everyday life. When you interact with such kinds of people, you readily forget all your pains and sadness and love every passing minute you spend with them.
Share your joyful moments with your close ones.
You don’t have to show your vulnerability all the time in front of everyone. You don’t need to feel that every time you become happy, your happiness is going to be followed by something hurtful and sad.
You can share your joyful moments with the people you love. You can always do your favorite things like watching a movie, cooking, playing cards with your favorite people. You can quit isolating yourself because you are afraid of showing your vulnerable self.
Seek help from a professional
Probably the best and the most trusted way to get back to your old self, which used to stay happy and enjoy every moment to the fullest, is to visit a therapist or any other professional who can help you out with your emotional and psychological burden.
A professional will look into your issue deeply and with enough care and address everything required to help you get back to your old self. Also, taking the help of a professional is something which you should not delay doing.
From the above points, it can be concluded that to get rid of all your past burden and trauma, you must seek every necessary help, and follow all that has been mentioned and have faith in yourself that you can overcome everything that has been hurting all these while and showcasing your vulnerable self to the entire world.
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“Mindfulness, meditation, and positivity – these three words describe me the best. I founded “BeHappyHuman” blog dedicated to spreading happiness and inner peace through mindfulness and meditation techniques. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been exploring these practices for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing their benefits with others. My mission is to help individuals achieve greater happiness.