Your happiness is in your own hands, and it’s up to you to maintain it and make sure that you’re making the most out of your life.
You may be happy throughout the day, but all of a sudden, a thought arises that spoils your entire mood and make you depressed. Are you spoiling your mood without even realizing it?
list of ways by which you are destroying your happiness:
Thinking about what lies ahead of you, rather than what you have achieved
This is the recipe for spoiling your mood instantly. You start feeling discouraged. It is the best way of dramatically increasing the chances of giving up on your dreams.
Instead of thinking about what lies ahead of you, and worrying about the future, focus on what you have achieved so far and how you have been able to cope up with every obstacle.
This way, you’ll have a holistic view of where you stand and stop feeling overwhelmed about the future.
You think you need others to stay happy
You are alone responsible for your happiness, and when you inculcate this thought, no one can ever make you feel sad and low.
You depend a lot on others for your happiness and well-being, which is not fruitful at all.
You are being abused and ignored in a relationship, yet you choose to stay because you are somehow dependent on that person for your happiness. Let go of such thoughts. Give yourself a chance to achieve your dreams without depending on someone else.
Considering happiness as something exterior rather than something interior
To you, the definition of happiness may be better credentialed, or a lovely family, or a big house, but in reality, people who are devoid of such things are also happy.
Feeling miserable is an irrational habit that is taught to you at a very young age.
Happiness is an interior feeling, rather than an external attribute that needs something or the other to arise. It can happen anytime, and you don’t need to depend on materialistic things to be happy.
The thought that you’re not good enough
You are good enough; you are not rich enough; you are not tall enough. These are the thoughts that can eat you up from within, and there’s no point in cribbing about these things.
Some people will never consider you good enough, and then some people can never be good enough for you. This shouldn’t stop you from giving your best and being the best version of yourself.
Surround yourself with quality people who will support you in all your endeavors.
“What will others think about you?”
This thought will never allow you to live your life on your terms. When you’re constantly dwelling on the fact that what others will think about you, you are just trying to be like someone and trying to achieve perfection in everything, which will never allow you to be yourself.
If you never express who you truly are, you will slowly die inside. Be proud of what you’re doing and who you are, embrace the good things and laugh at the bad bits.
Allowing hate or fear to control you
Your brains are designed in a way to warn you against danger and keep you safe, but the fact is that fear and anxiety can paralyze you. When you are afraid of failures, you are putting a barrier between you and your dreams.
Similarly, when hatred and anger get the better of you, you are consumed by animosity and cynicism.
So, stop holding onto your fears and anger issues. Never allow a place for hostility in your life.
You don’t appreciate what you have
There is so much to appreciate and be grateful for every day. Even the fact that there is oxygen and you can breathe properly can be a huge blessing.
When you are grateful towards the littlest of things in your life, you can better strive towards your goals, serve others well, and make the most out of your life.
Being grateful shifts your focus towards how full and lively your life truly is, rather than what you don’t have, and are cribbing for.
When you are fixating on your possessions
The brand-new car, or the sea-side apartment that you have just purchased, and are boasting about, will never love you black.
Rather it will just add to your stress levels if you have a tight budget or you need to pay off a huge amount of loan that you had borrowed.
When you concentrate on your materialistic possessions and money, you lose sight of things that truly make you happy and cheer you up from within.
Allowing procrastination to hamper your ambition
Many times, you put off the task which you agreed to complete within a specific time or delay it and invent excuses to explain why you didn’t complete that task on time.
In this way, regular or frequent procrastination can do serious damage to your long-term happiness.
When you procrastinate, you lose valuable time and energy which could have been used to pursue your goals and to achieve your dreams. So, stop procrastinating, and start hustling from today.
When you are constantly blaming others for your mistakes
Letting go of the blame from your shoulders to the shoulder of others can bring you peace and make you feel better, but in reality, you move down in the eyes of others.
You relinquish accountability for your feelings and actions when you blame someone else.
You feel that making someone else regret and remorse for your mistakes will make you feel at peace with yourself, but you are the one who will always remain liable for your actions.
Thinking about what happened in the past
It is quite normal to dwell on the things that happened in the past, but it can be devastating at the same time as it prohibits you from moving forward in your life.
The mistakes that you had committed in the past should be a learning curve for you, rather than something which stays inside you for the rest of your life and prevents you from seeing what lies ahead of you. When you stay in the present, you feel more connected to others.
When you compare yourself to others
The temptation of comparing yourself to others can be very overwhelming. When you compare yourself to others, somewhere down the line, you crib for the things that they have, but you don’t, and this can never be fruitful.
Comparing yourself to others mean that you are dissatisfied with your life and are putting yourself in their shoes and trying to live their life.
This way, you can never live life on your terms. Understand that every human is unique in their way.
When you try to control things that you can’t
It is often difficult to let go of things, and people, that you wanted forever. Not everyone and everything lasts a lifetime, and letting go can make you feel devastated and shattered. But the bitter truth is, not everything is under your control, and even if it is a hard pill to swallow, you have to accept it.
You can devise the perfect plan and still lose it all. You have to learn to let go of things that are not under your control.
You are being jealous of others
Jealousy or envious thoughts arise when the other person has something which you don’t or can do, something which you have always wanted to.
Jealousy says right in your face, the desires which you want to pursue but are unable to.
Jealousy is not about the other person; it’s about you. Instead of envying somebody and being jealous, try to work hard to achieve what you desire. Strive towards what you want and fulfill those incomplete desires.
You have little or no faith in yourself
Maybe because of past issues, or due to certain reasons, every time you try to do something, you don’t have the confidence, or you don’t trust yourself to be able to pull that off.
No matter what you have to go through in the past or how many people have tried to pull you down, you must know that all you have is yourself. When you trust yourself more than anybody else, no one can degrade you or try to pull you down.
You focus more on the bad things rather than the good ones
The more you focus on the good aspects of your life, the better you will get with time. But many of you tend to look at the bad aspects or the negative side of something. This is mainly because you are afraid of failure and want everything to be pitch-perfect.
This is not how things work. Everything in this world is made up of some negatives and some positives. So, focus more on the good aspects instead of the negatives.
You let futile thoughts control your emotions
Very often, you let your thoughts take hold of your feelings and emotions and break you down from within. These thoughts arise all of a sudden, or when you have been thinking about them for a while.
Do you think that these thoughts are of any use to you? Will these thoughts solve your problems? No, these will just add to what you are already going through. Instead of letting these thoughts influence you, keep working hard to reach your goals.
You think that you will be happy only when you have reached the goal
Although money, materialistic possessions, or goals are not prerequisites of happiness, yet you will often find yourself obsessing over them just because you feel you will be happy when you have them. Till then, it’s okay to feel miserable, right?
No, in reality, you will observe that when you have achieved your goal, you will set new goals for yourself and again start feeling miserable. Try to get out of this paradox trap and remind yourself that you don’t need possessions to be happy.
You deprive yourself of care
At times you are just too hard on yourself. You know that you should exercise, but you don’t do it. You feel guilty, and then you become hard on yourself.
Many times the main reason behind you not doing what you are supposed to do, is that you don’t know how to go about it and be successful in doing it. Quit depriving yourself of happiness, and start planning properly on how to go about something; if needed, seek the help of others.
You assume that people won’t like you
You are self-conscious and don’t expect others around you to like you. You feel that you might be annoying to them, or your appearance won’t make them like you back.
Keep these wayward thoughts aside and be proud of who you are and how you look. Your entire world will change.
Assume that when you walk into a room full of people, everyone present inside will like you; they just won’t realize it. This can be an effective way to get rid of such thoughts.
You don’t practice gratitude
Gratitude can be a very effective instrument in making you happy, even for the littlest of things in your life. When you are going through a rough day at work, and nothing seems to be right, try to look at the positives. What lesson did you learn today? How can you fix it the next time it happens?
When you showcase gratitude to everything and everyone around you, it means that their existence is crucial to you, and you immediately start feeling better.
You keep on rationalizing your bad behavior
No matter how well people behave in front of others, everyone lies when they have to, and so do you. You, too, are a liar, but you don’t consider yourself a bad person because of it. Do you?
No one considers themselves bad because of lying, but they should, right? So, how does this work then? It is termed cognitive dissonance or rationalization.
The more you repeat this, the more you keep on doing it frequently, and the lesser you’ll achieve happiness.
Blaming everything on yourself
You have to remember that you are your only golden resource. Stop blaming everything on yourself just to save someone you love or to be on the safe side. It is not worth it. In this way, you are just being hard on yourself for nothing, which is meaningless and non-sensical.
Every time something happens where you’d want to take the blame on your shoulders, detach yourself completely from that situation, and think whether there was your fault or not.
From the above points, it can be concluded that you are your only resource, so you must treat yourself like gold. Try to stay away from negative people and don’t take every blame on your shoulders.
Work hard to achieve your goals rather than portraying jealousy. Don’t let anyone else influence your thinking which in turn will destroy your happiness.